Activities

Pause and consider how you're feeling. Writing in a journal can help. If you're having trouble writing, even speaking into a recording app on your phone can help you express yourself.

• -

  If you're having trouble naming your feelings, a "feelings wheel", a visual map of the range of emotions, can be helpful and supportive tool.

• -

  If you're having trouble naming your feelings, a "feelings wheel", a visual map of the range of emotions, can be helpful and supportive tool.

• -

  You deserve support for distressing emotions. There are resources available to help you cope with the challenges that come with motherhood; discuss options with your support system.

Here are some things to consider when asking for support from your loved ones

Choose a calm moment to discuss your needs and feelings. Trying to talk over a crying baby may cause unnecessary tension.

• -

  It's important to be as honest as possible about distressing emotions. Your relationships and mental health will only benefit from your vulnerability. It also helps when connecting with healthcare professionals to ensure you get the right resources.

• -

  Ask for specific and actionable help with errands, chores, and childcare. For example, requesting help with the baby on certain days or times; doing the dishes while you run an errand; taking the baby out for a walk while you catch some sleep.

• -

  It's important to communicate your needs, but don't forget your "wants." Sometimes, asking for extra care and gentleness, or just a small treat, goes a long way.

Some simple ways to care for yourself in your free time include:

• -

  Deep breathing, meditation, and calming exercises

• -

  Connect with someone in your support system

• -

  Listen to calming music, an audiobook, or a podcast

• -

  Practice journaling, expressing and documenting your feelings

• -

  Engage in a creative practice, like music, photography, or another outlet

• -

  Celebrate small wins, like feeding yourself, taking a shower, or asking for help

• -

  Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a close friend or your child

• -

  Practice self-gratitude and affirm your positive qualities

Here are some tips for communicating with the baby's other parent:

• -

  Be specific when you ask for help, whether that's with help changing a diaper, taking over for dinner time, or taking space to be alone.

• -

  Don't wait until a moment of distress to communicate your needs. It's best to have regular check-ins together about feelings, and to coordinate schedules and tasks.

• -

  Take time to enjoy life apart from the baby, whether that's as a couple or independently.

• -

  Talk about splitting responsibilities sooner rather than later. Preparing for the many aspects of baby care before the baby arrives can make the process smoother for everyone. Do your best to be flexible, but also honor your commitments.

• -

  If your personal relationship is tense and impacting the baby's well-being, it could be time to consider therapeutic support.

Connection also grows over time.

If you feel disconnected from your baby, know this is common and doesn't reflect how much you love your child. If it feels comfortable, take time to hold your baby skin-to-skin. There are plenty of other meaningful ways to connect with your baby:

• -

  Read a short book together or tell your baby stories

• -

  Sing your favorite songs and nursery rhymes

• -

  Make eye contact with your baby and mimic their gestures

• -

  Speak to your baby, whether by repeating their sounds or having a conversation

• -

  Simply spend time in the same room with your baby while you do something restorative for yourself (reading, listening to music, cleaning, or just breathing)

Give yourself permission to savor your quiet time. If you can't sleep, just closing your eyes can be refreshing.

 If you're stretched too thin to rest, simple breathing exercises, hydrating, stretching, and even putting down social media and closing your eyes for a minute can provide small energy boosts or clarity.

• -

  Aim to get at least 4-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep – this might mean splitting the night shift with another adult in the home.

• -

  Accept help when you're offered it, whether that's a meal, help with laundry, or taking care of the baby for a few hours. Use the time to focus on some act of self-care that is small but achievable, something nourishing to your body and soul, like a hot shower, a nap, a walk around the neighborhood, or a meditation exercise.

• -

  If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed past your limits, this is a sign you're approaching burnout. That is a good time to tap into your support systems so you can take a much-needed break.